Okay, so at this current moment I'm pretty upset. Can I just...bow out on the computer access for the next month to get away from this? Please? This isn't something I should be upset about. There's no way. How did I get myself into something like this? I swear, every fucking time I get on here, something makes me upset. Yes, I understand that I need help, medication...all that stuff. But the smallest things make me mad and upset and well...I tell it all here. And Becky, the human journal :)
I just feel so weird right now. I'll get over it, I always do. I just use this outlet to vent and sometimes it sounds worse than it is. So yeah, I had to vent. And there it is. Because I'm paranoid.
People who know me personally - don't make assumptions on this, it's not what you think. It just needed to come out of my system. Now it's out, I can get over it.
I feel very strange. Tomorrow is my first funeral and...how am I supposed to act? I really don't know. It's my grandfather. He was an alcoholic and died of alcohol poisoning. They found his body - not 2 days later like I thought - but a week later. So he's being creamated. But I only remember him from my younger years because for the most part of my life, he was homeless and drunk and not even my mother knew where he was.
This is just...a strange/bad week.
I need to win the lottery.
[/end of non-perky me]